writing maps and rejecting rules with the Fifth Brain Collective
ames granados is a writer-performer and recovering academic who has been writing with the Fifth Brain Collective since 2024.
i’m a permission-seeker. always have been (actually, i need invitations…like, embossed on card stock, to go to your party. ‘you should stop by’ means nothing to me).
a few substacks ago, Frankie Rollins explained how she killed the god of permission. the one who rubber stamps our desire to write. to call what we’ve written ‘writing.’ to tell the rheumatologist (when he asks how we spend our time) that ‘no, my writing is not a hobby.’
i’ve always written. i made my living and was living out My Call in los angeles.
50% teacher/researcher - 50% writer/performer.
i had the permission/invitations/rubber stamps.
good grades, academic publications, a Moth StorySLAM win here, an award winning play there.
regular pats on my curly-haired head.
and then i kinda sorta got ejected from LA (i left graduate school in handcuffs. long story. stay tuned for my memoir!) i returned to the arizona desert and the words dried up.
to say i was lost is an adorable whisper of the truth.
after about 650 days, i started performing in storytelling shows again, but only when i had a damn good tale to tell (e.g., being caller #8 on 93.7 KRQQ and winning a trip to washington, D.C. to meet will smith while he was filming enemy of the state. when i was 13).
i felt the pull to write more/again. but the voices were loud and credible and living rent-free in my head:
you don’t have anything to say that’s worth hearing.
you don’t have an imagination.
there’s a right way to do it.
you will never know the right way to do it.
you are not enough.
you are too much.
and then i was diagnosed with autism at age 40. unforeseen plot twist.
i was relieved (for the clarity) and angry (because an earlier diagnosis could’ve brought much-needed support). i thought NOW i have something worth writing about. the struggles and strengths make sense. what i have to say could be meaningful to other people.
but without a call for proposals or the announcement of a storytelling show, i didn’t know where to start.
and then i was brought to the Fifth Brain Collective.
two friends from completely different areas of my life introduced me to Frankie Rollins.
i do not believe that everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the universe conspires in your favor.
i started reading Frankie’s book, Do You Feel Like Writing?
i felt seen and known. Frankie painted a vision for the life of a writer that kinda blew my mind. there’s no template for a writer’s process or practice. we don’t have to let the editors in our heads stifle stories that need to be told.
and, “if you want to write, you have what you need to do so.”
my copy of DYFLW? is scribbled in and highlighted and underlined and tabbed and stained with coffee and vegan protein shakes, so when the opportunity to join the membership presented itself, i wanted to sign up. i did.
but the voices piped up.
writing in community will be competitive.
i won’t know what to write.
the critiques will sting.
they’re not going to like me or my writing.
thankfully blessedly miraculously, my longing was larger than my fear, which evaporated in my very first tuesday night Zoom.
our gatherings follow the same format:
we greet each other and read the values, Frankie gives us a prompt, we write for 20 minutes, Frankie provides coaching, folks share their writing or reflections and receive feedback (though it’s not required). some members attend every week, others come when they can.
Frankie’s feedback focuses on what works in our writing. and something always, always works. there are no harsh critiques; at the same time, there’s no false praise or smoke blown up asses.
Frankie leads the conversation and invites other participants to follow the model of speaking to strengths.
the real surprise is that over time, Frankie and the members identify connections in each other’s processes and previous writing. we cheer each other on as our Fifth Brains do the magic.
Frankie’s prompts come from her own Fifth Brain. they spark wild curiosity. no two people have ever responded in the same way (sample prompts below).
we are a diverse bunch. we have different backgrounds, experience as writers, processes and genres.
In this room:
someone messes around with an idea
someone starts a first novel from scratch
someone writes into a new essay
someone writes a poetic line
someone works on a short story
a couple someones nip at memoirs
a couple someones lean into multiple projects
a couple someones return to work they abandoned
This is not a place of rules or expectations.
i write whatever comes to mind. i don’t censor. i follow the thread and my Fifth Brain does the rest.
from the very first session, i was liberated from the paralysis i’d felt –
having to be right. wanting to please. writing to a deadline.
there was another way to do it. a prompt, permission to write whatever, and only 20 minutes (which is not enough time to think myself out of saying something true). freedom in simplicity.
the words came.
beautiful and ugly.
i love what i’m writing.
and i love writing in community.
we give insight and encouragement to one another.
we draw inspiration from our diverse styles, voices, and processes.
we bear witness when folks write about brutal stuff.
we regularly engage in humorous, playful banter.
my sense of belonging in this community fuels my desire and ability to write.
often, i write about the effects that profound trauma has had on my life. i don’t feel judged, or that i am not allowed to write certain things. i don’t feel like i’m wrong for being as sad and angry as i am.
the members of the Collective affirm the inherent worth in what i have to say.
there is power in writing the truth. someday a reader will know they are not alone. that they’re not an alien. that there’s nothing wrong with them.
our gatherings are the best part of my week/life.
Frankie advocates for developing a stronger loyalty to oneself and one’s characters, prioritizing self-preservation through writing over accommodating the editors (real or imagined) who stifle our creativity. she points out the ‘tiny rules’ we make for ourselves and gently suggests that we honor our Fifth Brains instead.
Frankie encourages me as i develop my own craft…an experimental stream of consciousness and a complete rejection of the ‘proper’ grammar syntax spelling punctuation and capitalization that were hammered into me. i write how i think. which is who i am in the middle.
i am re-membering myself. i’m re-understanding my past which has changed how i see my present and future. the Collective showed me that my writing makes maps (cartography of the heart). Frankie observed and shared the insight that there is less self-recrimination in my writing since i joined the Collective. i am healing. there is evidence.
if you have questions about what it’s like to write with the Fifth Brain Collective, please reach out. i would love for you to join us.
i wrote and performed this piece with help from the Collective (special thanks to Leigh Spencer!). it’s the story of my absurd path to being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at age 40, and a denouncement of this country’s propaganda and policy surrounding neurodivergent folks.
Some Frankie Prompts from FBC Membership Sessions
You or your character find yourself facing a piece of artwork that moves you/them, either pleasantly or uncomfortably. What are you/they looking at? What is your/their internal monologue about it?
Describe a moment when everything floats, is dislodged from what it has been for a long time, and it floats off in new unknown directions. How do you or your character deal with the discomfort and dislocation? What does this look or feel like?
Describe relief in terms of you or your character - what was the thing that was needed or needed to be gotten rid of? How does the relief manifest?
JOIN US! Give your writing the time it craves. Learn more about Fifth Brain Collective and sign up for one (or more) of our weekly writing memberships.
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